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Home
Learn
- Academics: departments and courses
12 more pages
- Centre for Nocturnal Communication
- Department of Enclosure Studies
- ENCL 101 syllabus: Fit and Non-Fit
- Faculty of Thresholds and Doorways
- GRAV 101 syllabus
- NOCT 101 syllabus: Vocal Foundations
- PURS 101 syllabus: Introduction to Red Dots
- Pursuit and Unattainable Objectives
- School of Applied Gravity
- Solar Patch Sciences
- SOLR 101 syllabus: Locating Warm Rectangles
- THRS 101 syllabus: Standing in Doorways
- Course catalogue
- Research: cat behaviour explained
34 more pages
- Do cats get lonely
- Do cats know their names
- How much do cats sleep
- How well cats see in the dark
- Is string safe for cats
- The red dot problem
- The slow blink
- What cats' whiskers are for
- Why calico cats are almost always female
- Why cats bite when you pet them
- Why cats bring you dead animals
- Why cats chase their tails
- Why cats chatter at birds
- Why cats eat grass
- Why cats get the zoomies at night
- Why cats groom themselves
- Why cats hate citrus
- Why cats hate water
- Why cats have a third eyelid
- Why cats headbutt you
- Why cats hide from visitors
- Why cats knead
- Why cats knock things off tables
- Why cats love catnip
- Why cats love high places
- Why cats love sun patches
- Why cats meow
- Why cats purr
- Why cats scratch furniture
- Why cats show their belly
- Why cats sit in boxes
- Why cats sit on keyboards
- Why cats stand in doorways
- Why cats stare at nothing
- Cat questions answered
- Library and featured titles
- Glossary of cat terms
- Quiz: which department are you?
Campus life
- Campus life
- Campus map and visitor guide
- Events and calendar
- Clubs and societies
- Athletics and recreation
- Meet our students
- Alumni: notable graduates and class notes
- Student services and shuttle timetable
- Student Handbook
- Health and safety on campus
- Seasonal guide: hazards and tips
- Academic calendar 2026 to 2027
Explore
- Blog
37 more pages
- A calmer vet visit: tips from the faculty
- A day in the life of a Gnarp student
- A guide for new staff
- A message from the Chancellor
- A morning with Professor Mittens-Vex
- A student's guide to reading body language
- Ask a Professor: grass and vomit
- Ask a Professor: the 3 a.m. yowl
- Ask a Professor: the bathroom follower
- Ask a Professor: the bite after the purr
- Ask a Professor: the closed door
- Ask a Professor: the dinner audience
- Ask a Professor: the expensive bed
- Ask a Professor: the face patter
- Ask a Professor: the foot attack
- Ask a Professor: the head sleeper
- Ask a Professor: the licking
- Ask a Professor: the vacated seat
- Autumn term: what is new this year
- Cat-proofing your home: a room-by-room checklist
- Cats and children: a guide for households
- Choosing a department: decision tree
- Choosing a scratching post: a buyer's guide
- Hosting guests when you have a shy cat
- Lap etiquette: a guide for staff
- Midnight Convocation: what to expect
- Moving house with a cat: a guide for staff
- Multi-cat homes: a guide
- New arrivals: an orientation guide for staff
- Open Day, 3 October: what to bring
- Student spotlight: Solar Patch Sciences
- Ten enrichment ideas from the Institute
- Ten myths about cats, corrected
- Ten things to know in your first week
- The autumn term in review: the first weeks
- The science of the loaf
- Winter is coming: keeping warm on campus
- Ask a Professor: the archive
- Cats around the world
- The Gnarp Gazette: Autumn 2026
- Site updates and campus notices
About
- About: the alien cat university
- History of the University: events and index
30 more pages
- Ask the Historian
- How history is recorded at the University
- The Appointment of the Historian
- The Archive: artefacts of the University
- The Arrival of the Staff
- The Chancellors of Gnarp University
- The Discovery of the Eastern Patch
- The Discovery of the Sunbeam
- The Doorway Accords
- The First Age of Milk
- The First Doorway
- The First Lap
- The First Midnight Convocation
- The First Nap
- The First Saucer Landing
- The First Study Group
- The First Table Edge Symposium
- The Founding of the Library
- The Founding of the University
- The Great Box Shortage
- The Great Sardine Distribution
- The Great Yowl
- The Historian's Notebook
- The Incident
- The Invention of the Box
- The Invention of the Can Opener
- The Launch of the Website
- The Opening of the Kitchen Counter Observatory
- The Second Age of Sardine
- The Third Age of Tuna
- Faculty and staff
- Admissions: how to apply
- Scholarships and awards
- Press and media
- Accessibility statement
- The Gnarp Cat Collective