Student Services keep the University running. All services can be reached at staff@gnarp.eu.cc.
Feeding Office
Serves three meals a day. Mealtimes are announced in advance and delivered late. Complaints may be lodged loudly at any time.
Door Operations
Opens, closes and re-opens doors. Requests are handled in the order received, and again in the reverse order.
Lap Services
Arranges laps on request. A lap may be reclaimed by its owner without notice.
Lost Property
Located at the Kitchen Counter Observatory. Items recovered from beneath furniture include one pen, two hair ties and a small cactus.
IT Support (Keyboard Recovery)
Retrieves keyboards from beneath students. Write to staff@gnarp.eu.cc.
Saucer shuttle timetable
| Route | Departures | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Saucer Bay to Main Hall | 08:00, 12:00, 16:00 | Departs when the last passenger has finished loafing. |
| Main Hall to Saucer Bay | 09:00, 13:00, 17:00 | Boarding is by box. |
| Convocation shuttle | 02:30 on Friday 16 October | A wake-up call is provided by Professor Midnight. |
Times are approximate and subject to sunbeam. See Campus for the map and Site updates for changes.