Code of conduct
- If it fits, you sits. If it does not fit, you may sit anyway.
- Objects on tables are provisional until tested.
- Doorways are for standing in. Passing through is optional.
- Any keyboard is a student keyboard.
- Staff must remain seated when a lap is requested.
- The sunbeam belongs to whoever is in it, until it moves.
- Nocturnal communication is permitted between 02:00 and 04:30, and sometimes outside those hours.
- Dogs are subject to special procedure. Please see the Incident, which is not discussed.
- Every student is entitled to a nap, no questions asked.
Frequently asked questions
When are classes?
Whenever the sun patch is in the room. Check Site updates for changes.
What is the Incident?
It is not discussed.
Can I bring a box to class?
Yes. You may also sit in it during class.
How are exams assessed?
By staring. Prospective students will recognise the format from the admissions process.
Where do I report lost property?
Write to staff@gnarp.eu.cc. Recent losses include a glass, a pen and a small plant, all of which fell.
How do I contact a professor?
Email is fine, but most professors respond faster if you wait in the doorway of their office.
Student email
Every enrolled student receives a mailbox on arrival, in the form firstname.lastname@student.gnarp.eu.cc. All student addresses end in @student.gnarp.eu.cc.
- Please allow 3 to 9 business naps for a reply.
- Messages consisting of a single keystroke repeated (for example, “jjjjjjjjjjjj”) will be treated as complete.
- Password resets are handled at the keyboard, which is currently occupied. Please try again later.
- Email sent between 03:00 and 04:30 may be answered loudly.
Emergency procedures
- Closed door: stand near it and speak clearly.
- Vacuum cleaner: relocate to the highest available surface.
- Empty bowl: notify the Director of Feeding immediately, and repeatedly.
- Dog: please see the Incident.
Questions
Write to staff@gnarp.eu.cc. A human will read it eventually.